(raising a fist to the sky) DAMN YOU, TWITTEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!

Urgh. I had just submitted my confirmation article to MLSS when this went up…

I am extremely happy to officially sign minutes ago and be back with the best teammates and coaching staff #NERevs pic.twitter.com/1Lvw36hYbw
— AGUDELO (@JuanAgudelo) January 29, 2015

It will still go up with all the exposition, much of which I’ve had to keep mum for months. Before that makes it up, I’ll open the cat bag for you now. Long story short, Agudelo actually had two Stoke pre-deals, with the second hinging on a Cyprus passport that just took too long (while the country pondered whether they actually wanted to go through with it. So he could not join the Potters last January and this month. Last week, he decided to go another way and now he is a Rev with a four-year contract.

Second long story short, the list of clubs (some you already know) that failed to lure Agudelo includes loan employers Utrecht, 1860 Munich, Anderlecht, Feyenoord, Red Bull Leipzig, Red Bull Salzburg, Sporting CP, Standard Liège and Werder Bremen. There were also teams sniffing around from Denmark, Italy and Spain, and let’s not forget Birmingham City, Bolton and Wolverhampton.

This was tiring, and it sucked not to be able to say anything for what seemed like eons. Now I’m going to go talk to some black beans and chorizo with a fried egg on top about it all.

– Greg Seltzer